How do you know that your friend is gay

how do you know that your friend is gay

How Do I Help My Gay Friend?

by D’Ann Davis

“How do I help my gay friend?”  This is a question we overhear constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world.  Twenty years ago few Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles.  Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as homosexual or deals with a measure of same gender attractions.  Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of existence where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this ask is of utmost importance in light of the change of our tradition and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly chat about their issues.  So how does one aide a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?

The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question.  “Does your friend know Jesus?”  This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to help a friend deal with her sexual attractions.  This is because there are two different rou

If Someone Comes Out to You

Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be honest and risk losing you as a confidant. It can be complex to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow.

  • Acknowledge your friend for having the courage to narrate you. Choosing to narrate you means that they have a great deal of respect and belief for you.
  • Don’t judge your friend. If you have strong religious or other beliefs about LGBTIQ communitites, keep them to yourself for now. There will be plenty of time in the future for you to think and talk about your beliefs in glow of your friend’s persona.
  • Respect your friend’s confidentiality. Allow them the integrity to share what they want, when and how they want to.
  • Tell your ally that you still nurture about them, no matter what. Be the ally you have always been. The main fear for people coming out is that their friends and family will reject them.
  • Don’t be too serious. Sensitively worded humor may ease the tension you are both probably feeling.
  • Ask questions you may have, but understand that your buddy

    Understanding the Situation

    Sexual orientation is a personal matter, and unless your friend explicitly tells you, you can never be 100% sure. However, if you’re wondering whether your comrade might be male lover, either because you suspect they’re struggling with their self or you consider they might possess feelings for you, it’s important to approach the topic with sensitivity and respect.

    Here are some common signs that might indicate your friend is male lover and how to navigate the situation without making assumptions or making them uncomfortable.

    1. They Elude Talking About Their Love Life

    If your friend dodges conversations about crushes or relationships but is comfortable talking about every other aspect of their being, it might be because they’re not ready to confer their sexual orientation.

    Examples:

    • They change the subject when someone asks about their online dating life.
    • They rarely note any romantic interests.
    • They seem uncomfortable when discussing relationships with the opposite gender.

    This doesn’t necessarily indicate they’re gay, some people are just private, but if combined with other signs, it might be a clue.

    2. They Show a Strong Interest in LGBTQ+ Topics



    Is My Partner Gay?

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    Rethinking the ‘gay best friend’

    Ryan and I met operational behind the tills in HMV Cork in the winter of 2009. We bonded instantly, and as we are both spontaneous romantics, began the process of myth-making in our friendship while it was still slippery from birth. We moved in together quickly. We began writing a sitcom based on our lives, then got stoned and paranoid about being sued by former co-workers when we became famous. We left extended Facebook posts on each other’s walls, quoting the things we said to one another, terrified that our specialness and our closeness would not be noticed or rewarded by the wider world. We wanted them to say: you two really possess something here.

    We were 19, and we were insufferable. But there was a lot of that compassionate of thing around. Brilliant young women and their even brighter gay friends were burning up our screens. There was Will & Grace, of course, and there was Stanford Blatch from Sex and The City. There was Stanley Tucci’s Nigel in The Devil Wears Prada, and Damian in Mean Girls, and Rupert Everett’s George in My Top Friend’s Wedding. We opened Word documents, centre-aligned the text and transcribed ourselves.

    Insufferable as we we